SO I am pregnant... again... We had planned to wait awhile until I recovered physically and our pocket book recovered from all the hospital bills.... BUT God has other plans, obviously. For those of you who may be upset with us for this pregnancy, remember the most important thing right now is your love, positive support and prayers. This was not planned.
I am already having complications, my blood pressure was very high even at 6 weeks into the pregnancy and I am very anemic with all the symptoms. I have started preclampsia symptoms too, I assume it won't be long before I am diagnosed again. I pray that my body will have the health and strength to handle the next 20 some weeks. We will be induced no later than September 17th 2010. My chances of abrupting again are very high and with the complications already showing their ugly heads, we are looking at the possibility of a preemie or hospitalized bed rest towards the end. We are asking for prayers that this baby will be able to join our family here on earth.
On the emotional aspect... Losing Christopher is still so fresh and this pregnancy just scares me. I still cry often over that loss and when I look at the pictures, I have so many different feelings. Jon has pulled away emotionally for fear of losing this baby and the pain is soo real. I have yet to get excited, even hearing the heartbeat doesn't bring happiness. I know that will all change if we have the chance to hold a live baby in the end. I think this will be the end of my childbearing days, we've been encouraged that my body can no longer handle the strain of pregnancy. We will be discussing our options with the doctor whether it be tubal ligation or an IUD... Either way I will be opting for the free tummy tuck with the c-section being my last pregnancy.
When we told people about the pregnancy, we wanted it to be a big announcement (being the last)... Somehow the word got out to the family prematurely. Everyone was mad at us instead of being happy and supportive. It Really sucks! You'd think if you heard a rumor like that, it would stop at you instead of bringing it upon yourself to "spread the word" about a pregnancy. I just wanted some kind of excitement (maybe it would help us become excited) and maybe some concern so we could discuss our feelings. Everyone else gets to have their moment, but me? What did I do to deserve that?
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